Runner or not?

I can't decide if I should call myself a runner or what.  I like to run.  I'm pretty good at it.  And I do compete in races.  I guess that makes me a runner.  Moving on...

 

I ran the bridge run downtown Savannah this past weekend.  Really enjoyed myself.  My goal was to race the 5K and finish around 24:30 and than take my time with the 10K and be around 55:00.  I ended up placing 6th in my age division with a 23:53 and a 53:55.  I'm happy with my times and that I ran both races as I'd planned.  I took my own advice and placed myself near the starting line for the 5K.  There were a lot of people in costumes and out for a good time.  I wanted to run fast and hate dealing with traffic.  Unfortunately I was pretty tired in between the two races and didn't get near enough the start for the 10K.  I dealt with people running back and forth across the road, stopping to talk on their phone, adjusting their costumes and playlists, and lots of walkers.  Really annoying.

What is also really annoying is the shirt I got for bringing in a donation for Toys-for-Tots. It's a Mizuno dri-fit shirt.  I was actually pretty excited by it and wore it this morning to workout.  It sucks.  It doesn't let you skin breath and I was a sweaty mess by the time the warm-up was done.  I'm not the only one who felt this way.  A friend from the early morning class wore his shirt this morning and had the same complaints.  I guess you can't gripe to much about a free shirt.

Taking the plunge this afternoon and registering for Garage Games One in February.  And I'm going to go for it and register for the RX division.  Everyone pray there are no muscle-ups!

Shop Small

I haven't figured out a way to get paid to workout.  I'm working on that, but in the meantime when I purchase gear it has got to hold up and be able to hold multiple jobs.  I don't own running shoes, weight lifting shoes, crossfit shoes, and rope climbing shoes.  I own a pair of close to zero drop running shoes that I wear for everything. When we rope climb I pull out an old pair.  When I compete in a mud run I pull out an even older pair.

I needed a pair of capris for the Rock and Roll back in November.  I wanted some that I wouldn't have to worry about fiddling with while I ran and that had a pocket. I went into Fleet Feet, a local sporting goods store that sells all the large name brands and has a great selection. Tried on a bunch of capris and picked these by Brooks. I loved them.  They fit well, didn't ride up or down, had a small zipper pocket on the back of the waistband, didn't make me look like I had camel toe, they rocked.  I wore than for the half without any chaffing problems.  I wore them for workouts and yoga.  They made me happy with my decision to spend a bit more $ than I usually do.  Target capris just don't fit like these do.

I've had them for 2 months and today I notice a large hole on the side seam.  Not cool.  Not cool at all.  I was fuming.  The hole is not in a spot that crossfit can be blamed.  They just came apart at the seam.  I called Fleet Feet and they'll happily exchange them for me and that is awesome.  (The last time I bought a pair of shoes from a chain store and had a problem with them 2 months later, they told me I had to deal with the shoe company, who wanted me to ship them my new shoes at my own cost and be without them for 6-8 weeks till they could mail me new ones).  Small locally owned businesses are the best! I'm still mad about the capris.  They should last longer than 2 months.  My fingers are crossed it was a fluke.

Right place, right time

I can't imagine what Army life any military life was like prior to the internet, facebook, Skype, etc.  Today I happened to be close when another Army mom needed some help.  Hanging out at Panera Bread with my daughter and her little friend was the highlight of my day.  How did mom's do it 10 years ago when you couldn't just post to facebook that you needed help? And what do the mom's do that are never willing to ask for help?

That was my number one lesson when I took on this life.  You have to be willing to ask for help.

A good kind of ache

Day 3 of competition WOD's completed.  Making sure to take plenty of time to stretch, warm-up, etc.  Taking tomorrow as my rest day.  My shoulder needs a break from all the overhead lifts this week.

I have a lot of time on my hands at night, and I usually end up on youtube watching crossfit clips because I'm a dork and find it entertaining.  Found several of the Garage Games One from last year.  It looks like a fun mix of WOD and obstacle course.

Got to do some sprinting today.  I love getting up on my toes, arms pumping, going full out.

I'm looking forward to Saturday.  Early morning bridge run with a new women's running group I found, yoga and than a workout.

Taking the leap

Today is day 1 of training for my first crossfit competition.  Still haven't quite wrapped my head around the idea of competing.  Somehow running a full marathon seems less intimidating that competing.  There's something about thinking so highly of yourself that you want to compete that I am struggling with right now.  And the idea that I know I'm not going to be the best/win so why am I bothering?

So today's workout:

COMPETITION WOD:

STRENGTH:

A.) Snatch:

3X1@80%, 1X1@85%, 1X1@90%, 1X1@95%, 3X1@90%, 2X1@85% – rest 30-60 seconds.

60, 65, 70, 75# felt light, need to reevaluate my 1RM for snatch

B.) Clean & Jerk:

3X1@75%, 1X1@80%, 1X1@ 85%, 1X1@90%, 3X1@85%, 2X1@80% – rest 30-60 seconds.

100, 105, 110, 115#

****You must perform all of “A”, and then all of “B”. Then immediately into the Conditioning portion.****

CONDITIONING:

3 Rounds:

10 X Burpee Broad Jump
20 X KBS (Heavy) 35#
15 X Pullups (C2B if possible)
10 X Thrusters (Heavy) 85#

20:07 I suck at pullups.  I missed a clean in the last round of thrusters or I would have had it less than 20 minutes.

 

 

The conditioning felt like I was back struggling when I started crossfitting back in March.  This is heavier and a little crazier than I've ever worked out.

Tapering

My first half marathon is next Saturday.  My husband should be home in a little over a month.  Lot's of big things are coming to an end.  I've hit a point where we are trying to maintain some sort of sanity till this is all over.  But than what? I've applied for a few jobs, but I've haven't heard back from any of them.  I've thought about pursuing a job as a trainer or in crossfit, but that takes money and time and in the end the pay isn't that great.  I know K would do great in daycare.  Heck she would probably thrive to around kids and in a semi-structured environment all day.  I just don't know what to do next.

I've decided to run the half with the the 1:45 pace group.  If I've spent all this time training I'm going to go for it.

K-my little crossfitter.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary.  This is how I celebrated.

Rolled out of bed, showered, saw what today's WOD was and debated taking the day off when I saw toes to bar. Went any way and was blessed with a modification that didn't involve testing my screwed up shoulder. Took K to get a salted caramel latte as my big treat for the day.  Physical therapy for the last time. Fingers crossed I can keep up the good work that I started there.  Came home and cleaned up the yard, took the car to get an estimate for repair work since I decided to back into a friend's mailbox, and than tried to get K to take a nap.  The last thing was a no go, so I made dinner (scrambled eggs and bacon with a big glass of almond milk) and we cuddled up on our bed to watch UP.

I'd like to say today would have gone differently if my hubby was here to celebrate with us, but it probably wouldn't change much.

I'm ok.

That is an intentional period at the end of the title.  I'm ok.  That's all I've got right now.  If it weren't for friends, a great workout, and a nice hot shower I don't know how I would have soldiered through today.  My child has hit the terrible two's with a vengeance.  And it's just me.  I don't get to say you handle her for the night.  It's just her and me all day, every day.  Today was a bad day.  She wouldn't stop screaming and crying.  I get that she's frustrated because she doesn't know the words to say what she's thinking. She doesn't know how to get her point across any way other than to cry and whine Mommy, mommy, mommy over and over again.  It was horrible.  I tried changing venues, I tried giving her dinner, I tried reading to her, she sat in time-out.  Finally I gave up and put her to bed.  And poured a glass of wine.

It's 3am and I'm lonely

I work out with an amazing group of women.  They are supportive, competitive, and most are also Army wives.  This last week two of them had their husbands come back from deployments.  I have wrestled for three days now with the disappointment that my husband isn't coming home anytime soon.  I stare at their updates and reunion pictures with such jealousy.  Over and over when I hear a weird noise in the middle of the night, I pray it's him coming home.  "Surprise!  They let me come back early." 

When you're depressed and exhausted and desperately need a hug and a shoulder to cry on, 3am is not the time to phone a friend.  I tried that once.  I spent the phone call assuring them no one was dead or dying.

I sat in bed this morning, after sleeping for 3 hours, asking myself what was the purpose in going to workout? I'm not trying out for the Olympics, there is no body building competitions in my future.  I don't have another race till September.  I was tired and sore.  But I got out of bed, and got K and I to the other place she refers to as home.  The workouts are so tough, I have to focus and think so hard, that for about an hour I can ignore the rest of my life.  That's why I go.

After pushing myself through another crazy WOD I sat down next to one of the wives who's husband just got back.  She gave me a hug and told me it's ok to be angry, sad and just want to cry.  I spend so much time being strong for K, for J, for our families, for our friends.  When I can't be strong anymore, I don't always know where to turn.  I didn't have a place to go at 3, but around 10 I found the comfort I needed.

Staying up past my bedtime

The time difference between my hubby and I is eight and half hours.  When I'm finishing up at the gym in the morning, he's getting ready to go to bed.

Lately we've fallen into a routine where we email back and forth when he first gets up.  I lay in bed around 11:30 each night hoping to hear my phone signal I have an email.  Some nights all I get is a one liner saying he loves me and has a meeting.  Some nights we go back and forth for an hour or more trading ideas about new kitchen appliances and where we want to head on the next vacation (Prague is at the top of the list currently).

I look forward to these emails even more than the occassional skype calls we get.  It seems more natural, less of a performance.  I spend most of the skype time trying to keep K interested.  And to see him is a physical reminder of just how far away he is.  You see him in camo in a tent and there is no way to pretend he's just out in the field for a few days.

Sort-of, kind-of Paleo

That's the best way I can describe where I've ended up after my husband has been gone for a few months.  My husband and I make dinner from scratch close to 90% of the time.  When he leaves I go from having no desire to cook to thinking I can make what I want to eat so I should take advantage.

I have heard the words paleo and clean thrown around on facebook and on the magazines near the checkouts.  I've read hear and there and realized that without intentionally trying, I eat a clean diet.  When K started having digestive difficulties we switched to almond milk, added more fruits and vegetables and became more aware of food labels. 

When I started a crossfit style workout in March there was a lot of talk about eating paleo.  On a whim I stopped eating bread and pasta and noticed immediately how much I leaned out.  My digestive issues that were frequently a problem disappeared.

Where I've ended up is a focus on making all our meals from scratch.  I've moved away from white flour and sugars and eliminated pasta, rice, bread, and grains.  I read labels closely to prevent any sneaky sugars in.  But I drink wine, I use sea salt, and I just can't break my greek yogurt addiction.

As far as the kiddo goes, I do make her the occasional bowl of mac and cheese (the commercial crap, there's something about fake yellow cheese that makes her go nuts). On-the-go snacks are where I'd like to do better.  It's just easier to buy a 9 pack of goldfish crackers than to make my own protein bars for her to munch on.  Some days she refuses to eat the healthy stuff, and since she has always been on the skinny, tiny side I am constantly concerned that she's not eating enough.  I won't get into my rant that the percentiles are based on a good majority of kids who eat horrible processed diets and are therefore bigger.  That's for another post.

Sleepovers

My parents have never had overnight house guests.  We can't move somewhere without a spare bedroom or two to accommodate guests.  I love to have the house full of people. 

My guests this weekend, an army buddy of J's and his wife, made me an emotional wreck.  We haven't seen them for 2 years.  Last time I was expecting K and she was undergoing her first round of chemo.  It was a crazy time for all of us.

This past weekend was full of many ups and downs.  After her two year battle with cancer, and given 10% odds of surviving, we ran 3 miles together Saturday morning and made plans to run the Rock N Roll Half Marathon in November.  She was just given the news that she can safely try to get pregnant and deliver a baby without any concerns for her health.  All of this was awesome.

Than there is the dark cloud that hangs over the whole weekend.  J isn't there.  This is his friend.  His battle buddy.  He would want to show off his daughter and our home.  J would want to show them around Savannah and look at the houses they're thinking about buying.  He would want to reassure him that we will be here for his wife when he deploys.  Instead it will be another 13 months or more till they are both home.  I spent a sleepless weekend wrestling with how incomplete the weekend felt.

Than Monday came and I washed the sheets, towels and restocked the toilet paper in preparation for my brother and sister-in-law to arrive this weekend.