Little Einsteins Inspired Our Vacation

The Bligh's are headed to Norway. Yep all three of us. J and I haven't taken a big overseas trip since K became part of the crew. We've been itching to bring K along with us, but weren't sure if she was old enough or where we would go. After the move and new schools and all the adjustments she's made it was clear to us that she was mature enough to handle the long flights and unfamiliar food. But more importantly that she would remember the trip and could appreciate seeing another country and another way of life.

Enter The Little Einsteins
The first tv show that K ever watched with interest was The Little Einsteins. The first time she saw the aurora borealis she was hooked. We would spend weekend mornings getting sucked into a YouTube wormhole of breathtaking videos. When a friend moved to Alaska she sent links to watch the lights live and photographs of the amazing show she witnessed from her backyard. It seemed natural to make this her first big adventure.

Norway
J showed me we could fly round-trip to Oslo for cheaper then a trip to Cleveland and I said let's get K her passport. We'll be using Norwegian Air out of JFK. They bill themselves as a budget airline offering non-stop services from a few US airports to Europe and the Caribbean. You pay for in-flight services ala carte (Want a blanket? That's $5 but you get to keep it. That sort of thing.).

Once in Norway we'll be spending a couple nights in Oslo, then flying north to Tromso. Even though we both have traveled overseas several times, it's always startling to see how much cheaper it is to get transportation within a country in Europe. Be that a train or flying. For less then the price of one ticket to get from Norfolk to Savannah all three of us are flying.


But forget all the prices and numbers. Why take a five-year-old to Norway? Because it's supposed to be one of the friendliest places to visit. Oslo has lot's of children appropriate museums and a castle to see. Because it looks like where Frozen took place. And the Northern Lights are like magic.

Courage

Courage, determination, assertiveness, feisty, brave. I can pinpoint the day I figured out I had it inside me. It was the end of the summer and I was about to start my second year of teaching in North Carolina. It was late, I couldn't sleep and I got to thinking about things I wanted to do, places I wanted to see and the excuses I had for why I couldn't do any of it. And right then I packed a bag and left my apartment and drove to DC. It's a place that makes me happy and I didn't need anyone's blessing or a reason for going. That was it for me. I started to view relationships and choices with a different light. I put myself first and stopped wasting my time with things and people who weren't moving me towards goals. 

It's that change in focus that led me to my husband, successfully navigating life as an army wife and weightlifting. In my mind there aren't many other sports where you are solely responsible for the outcome. As you stand on the platform only you can determine if the barbell will end up over your head. All the coaching, gear and Instagram likes won't make a difference if you don't have your head right and focused on yourself at that moment when you touch the barbell. 

It is not selfish to focus on you. When I've put myself, my marriage and my family first I've never regretted the outcome. 

Photo credit to Old People Snatch and my boss for adding the quote. 

First days of summer

What constitutes a vacation? Does it mean months of planning and saving? Pouring over websites and tour books. Joining forums and travel sites trying to find the best deal and the hotel with the perfect location.

Or is it simply a break from the norm? Sleeping in, coffee on the back deck, putting your phone on silent, pajamas till noon.

Are family and friends along too? Or is vacation time spent alone?

One of my favorite childhood memories is the summer we traveled all over the coast of Michigan. No reservations, no navigation system, no cell phone to check the reviews. Dad driving, mom beside him, Scott and I in the back equal parts fighting, ignoring and playing with each other. We crossed the Mackinaw Bridge, spent the day at Bronner's Christmas Wonderland, had the luck of a rainy day to find Petoski stones, and spent one night searching for a hotel finally finding one that mom was not happy with. I remember the room being blue, she found a cockroach in the bathtub and insisted we keep our socks on at all times.

Making memories with my own family now. K is an easy and enthusiastic travel companion. I have dreams of sharing Paris and Italy with her. Of showing her how big and amazing the world is.

No. 3

More and more seems to be added to my plate. The thing about military life is you need to expect to have all plans dashed. Yesterday we discussed driving to Ohio for Labor Day, today I'm told to call a Realtor because we will be moving in September/October. I called, knowing the plans could change next week or next month. I spent the day looking around the house trying to figure out what we would keep and what would go if we needed to downsize to an apartment. Then I poured some wine and watched Frozen with K. How do you balance going with the flow with needing to be ready for anything?

No. 1

At two times in my life I have had a moment where I realized just how alone I was. That no matter what plans or arrangements I made, no matter what I'd hoped to accomplish that day, that I am a mother and that ultimately it comes down to me sacrificing everything for my girl. I am an Army wife, hundreds of miles away from family, friends come and go, my husband comes and goes. In the end it is just me.

I was 6 weeks postpartum. A day I had looked forward to since we'd gotten home from the hospital. I could return to the gym. Return to the place where I felt strong and in control. My husband left for work that morning promising to be home in time for me to go to my favorite class. He didn't make it. I sat there in my workout clothes on the front porch like a jilted bride. I bawled my eyes out while my daughter slept. Realizing all at once that when I became a mother I'd given up my freedom. Given up control over my life. That ultimately I could only rely on myself.

And then to tonight. I'd decided that since my husband was gone I would take the opportunity of not worrying about having dinner on the table and Katelyn happy for him to come home to every night to work on becoming a better coach. I'd reached out to friends for the name of a new babysitter and was all setup to head into Savannah for the evening. J has been gone for two weeks, won't be home for three more. I was looking forward to an evening spent talking about biomechanics, squatting, butt-winking and other nerdy CrossFit coach stuff. The babysitter didn't show up. K sat at the counter, excited beyond belief to meet this new sitter that shared her name. I tried to hide my tears of disappointment and of frustration from her as I started her mac-n-cheese. There is no one who can come help me. It's just me and my girl and a rather useless but pretty dog.

Right place, right time

I can't imagine what Army life any military life was like prior to the internet, facebook, Skype, etc.  Today I happened to be close when another Army mom needed some help.  Hanging out at Panera Bread with my daughter and her little friend was the highlight of my day.  How did mom's do it 10 years ago when you couldn't just post to facebook that you needed help? And what do the mom's do that are never willing to ask for help?

That was my number one lesson when I took on this life.  You have to be willing to ask for help.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary.  This is how I celebrated.

Rolled out of bed, showered, saw what today's WOD was and debated taking the day off when I saw toes to bar. Went any way and was blessed with a modification that didn't involve testing my screwed up shoulder. Took K to get a salted caramel latte as my big treat for the day.  Physical therapy for the last time. Fingers crossed I can keep up the good work that I started there.  Came home and cleaned up the yard, took the car to get an estimate for repair work since I decided to back into a friend's mailbox, and than tried to get K to take a nap.  The last thing was a no go, so I made dinner (scrambled eggs and bacon with a big glass of almond milk) and we cuddled up on our bed to watch UP.

I'd like to say today would have gone differently if my hubby was here to celebrate with us, but it probably wouldn't change much.

I'm ok.

That is an intentional period at the end of the title.  I'm ok.  That's all I've got right now.  If it weren't for friends, a great workout, and a nice hot shower I don't know how I would have soldiered through today.  My child has hit the terrible two's with a vengeance.  And it's just me.  I don't get to say you handle her for the night.  It's just her and me all day, every day.  Today was a bad day.  She wouldn't stop screaming and crying.  I get that she's frustrated because she doesn't know the words to say what she's thinking. She doesn't know how to get her point across any way other than to cry and whine Mommy, mommy, mommy over and over again.  It was horrible.  I tried changing venues, I tried giving her dinner, I tried reading to her, she sat in time-out.  Finally I gave up and put her to bed.  And poured a glass of wine.

It's 3am and I'm lonely

I work out with an amazing group of women.  They are supportive, competitive, and most are also Army wives.  This last week two of them had their husbands come back from deployments.  I have wrestled for three days now with the disappointment that my husband isn't coming home anytime soon.  I stare at their updates and reunion pictures with such jealousy.  Over and over when I hear a weird noise in the middle of the night, I pray it's him coming home.  "Surprise!  They let me come back early." 

When you're depressed and exhausted and desperately need a hug and a shoulder to cry on, 3am is not the time to phone a friend.  I tried that once.  I spent the phone call assuring them no one was dead or dying.

I sat in bed this morning, after sleeping for 3 hours, asking myself what was the purpose in going to workout? I'm not trying out for the Olympics, there is no body building competitions in my future.  I don't have another race till September.  I was tired and sore.  But I got out of bed, and got K and I to the other place she refers to as home.  The workouts are so tough, I have to focus and think so hard, that for about an hour I can ignore the rest of my life.  That's why I go.

After pushing myself through another crazy WOD I sat down next to one of the wives who's husband just got back.  She gave me a hug and told me it's ok to be angry, sad and just want to cry.  I spend so much time being strong for K, for J, for our families, for our friends.  When I can't be strong anymore, I don't always know where to turn.  I didn't have a place to go at 3, but around 10 I found the comfort I needed.

Staying up past my bedtime

The time difference between my hubby and I is eight and half hours.  When I'm finishing up at the gym in the morning, he's getting ready to go to bed.

Lately we've fallen into a routine where we email back and forth when he first gets up.  I lay in bed around 11:30 each night hoping to hear my phone signal I have an email.  Some nights all I get is a one liner saying he loves me and has a meeting.  Some nights we go back and forth for an hour or more trading ideas about new kitchen appliances and where we want to head on the next vacation (Prague is at the top of the list currently).

I look forward to these emails even more than the occassional skype calls we get.  It seems more natural, less of a performance.  I spend most of the skype time trying to keep K interested.  And to see him is a physical reminder of just how far away he is.  You see him in camo in a tent and there is no way to pretend he's just out in the field for a few days.

Sleepovers

My parents have never had overnight house guests.  We can't move somewhere without a spare bedroom or two to accommodate guests.  I love to have the house full of people. 

My guests this weekend, an army buddy of J's and his wife, made me an emotional wreck.  We haven't seen them for 2 years.  Last time I was expecting K and she was undergoing her first round of chemo.  It was a crazy time for all of us.

This past weekend was full of many ups and downs.  After her two year battle with cancer, and given 10% odds of surviving, we ran 3 miles together Saturday morning and made plans to run the Rock N Roll Half Marathon in November.  She was just given the news that she can safely try to get pregnant and deliver a baby without any concerns for her health.  All of this was awesome.

Than there is the dark cloud that hangs over the whole weekend.  J isn't there.  This is his friend.  His battle buddy.  He would want to show off his daughter and our home.  J would want to show them around Savannah and look at the houses they're thinking about buying.  He would want to reassure him that we will be here for his wife when he deploys.  Instead it will be another 13 months or more till they are both home.  I spent a sleepless weekend wrestling with how incomplete the weekend felt.

Than Monday came and I washed the sheets, towels and restocked the toilet paper in preparation for my brother and sister-in-law to arrive this weekend.